Then here's the perfect product for you - Aspray.
This is not a joke (although it sure seems like it after watching the infomercial). It aired overnight on MSNBC once and then they pulled it due to its ridiculous content.
My favorite part - the testimonial / dramatization at 1:15 in the video. They could not have found a better person for that - you can almost smell him though the computer. His last comment (mentioned almost as an afterthought) is absolutely hysterical!
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